Updated: Nov 22, 2020
Where there is selfishness there is no happiness...
We at hopeofmarriage.com are determined to try to inspire you and others, in the same time we firmly believe that there is hope for your marriage. Just do not give up!!!!
What women want??? Excellent question and many will say that "there is no man on this wide earth who will actually understand woman" (and woman will say that they can not understand man). But is that so difficult? Is that really so complicated? Well I tell you that the first 10 years of my marriage I had the same opinion as well. But later on when I actually decided that I will really try to understand my wife and I will work on our relationship, that was the turning point for me. In my opinion the wast majority of man will fall in the trap of "man thinking". And there is nothing wrong with that (at the end of the day we are man) but when we talk about a successful marriage we have to change our mindset. And here I`m talking about both of you not only the man. You were created by God different. You do not think the same, you do not speak the same, you do not wish the same things and I could go on and on and on. You were not created to be the same but to equalize each other,to complement each other.
Once you realize this and you change your mindset you will experience something incredible what God created for us. A happy marriage...
Many of you might have complaints about your spouse and most likely you are right and you have your own reason to complain about him/her,but did you ever ask yourself the question why all these problems happened ??? Why do you (wife) feel neglected and sometimes abandoned? Why do you not feel that you are wanted anymore as you were wanted at the beginning of your relationship. In the same time why you(man) feel that she`s not looking at you the same( like she used to ) You used to be her super hero why did that change? Why do you feel pushed on the side by your children? Sometimes you have the feeling that your children are more important than you. (children are important,and they are a blessing but your husband has to come before them day and night) So seeing all these questions the answer is, because everything was different on both sides back than, that`s why. He was ready to move the earth to see you more than once a week, he was ready to talk to you for hours and hours. He gave you flowers every week, he was treating you as you were his princess,he was actually listening to you (not just pretending) so you gave back double attention,affection,and love. She needs to be loved. She needs to feel that she is wanted by you. She needs to feel that she is the most important person on the face of the earth. And if you do that you will see that she will give back double the amount of love, affection, and care. She will bloom like the most beautiful flower. I made the dumbest mistake of my life at the beginning of our marriage. I thought that if I show her that I really love her I will be vulnerable and she can take an advantage of that. How did that work it out for me? Let`s just say that I was dumb. If you want a good marriage you need to show your feelings to her/him . You need to tell her your feelings.(I`m saying this to men mostly because in my experience man are the one who have this issue more than woman.) Otherwise this will not going to work out.
Sometimes you think "maybe marriage therapy or couples therapy will help??? But than you tried that as well and actually it did not. Why ???? Because both of you have to decide and work on your relationship.You have to work as hard as you did back than and even more. But if you decide to do it, I can guarantee you that it worth's all the effort. It is up to you to fight for something and do not give up. I know that sometimes it is not easy to love somebody when he/she is mean to you but let`s not forget that you are not completely innocent either. Imagine how God can love you when you rejected Him so many times. How many times were you unfaithful to God? But he still loves you. He gave his only begotten Son Jesus Christ to die for your sins on the cross. I can not imagine that love. I can not understand that love. But I do know that I owe God that much. He ordered us to keep our families together and to love our wife/husband. So you need to do it because God wants you to do it. Not because your spouse deserves it but because you made a promise to God many years ago and you have to fulfill it. Just remember those days when you were so much in love and you were ready to resolve every issue whatever it took. You can do that now as well with some effort and compromise. You have to forget about yourself and think about you as a couple . There is no ME just US!!! You are one not two anymore!!!
Selfishness is one of the biggest problem in today`s marriages. THERE IS NO ME JUST US!!! DO NOT FORGET ABOUT THAT.
You have to think about your children as well. They are the one who will suffer if you give up. There is hope. I do not say that it`s going to be easy or that it will happen over night, but if you are willing to do it you can actually get a happy marriage.
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I wish I can inspire others with my personal experience and I do hope that some of you out there who have problems in your marriage will decide to fight for it and do not give up. I wish you all a blessed day and I`ll see you in the next one.
Attila and Julia .