Updated: Nov 22, 2020
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"Where there is selfishness there is no happiness!!!"
So let us talk a little bit about this interesting but controversial topic which is "Money or else Wealth and Family or else Marriage" It is kind of funny how people try to avoid sometimes these kind of topics ( especially because they feel guilty about it) but I think that it is absolutely important to talk about it with your spouse to avoid later conflicts.
Choose your priorities !!!!
So the best way for you to understand my point would be if I tell you a story from our life/marriage and how did we deal with it.
Let me start from the beginning. When we got married I had no job and I have to tell you that it was kind of difficult to find a job in Romania that time especially if you did not have any specific qualification. So (short version as possible) let`s just say that we had to budget very tight every month to pay the bills and leave one day to another. But a few years went by and I got better and better jobs, I also finished different courses and gain qualifications which led me again to better jobs and I became production manager in a big furniture company. So we slowly slowly forgot the daily struggles we had because we got more and more money. Than I started my own business and I got even better opportunities. But obviously these opportunities required time effort travelling, so on, so on. And all this success I considered MY WORK, MY ADROIT!!! I built the company from scratch to success so I thought it is my merit. And I always told myself that I do this for my family. I want to provide as much as I can. I want them to have all those things what I could not have when I was a young man/child. I wanted to spoil my children with all kind of expensive toys, I wanted to bring them on expensive holidays, you name it... But my friend I forgot the most important aspect of life and that would be... " Time is more valuable than anything, more than diamond, more than gold or any wealth" I forgot that being there for my children and play with them, cherish them every day is more important than bringing home 10 000 euros or buying them the most expensive toy. It is more important to show love and affection towards my wife than bring her to a vacation to Greece. I fooled myself with these things because I wanted to have more and more money and not because of my family.When she was complaining about it I answered " I do all this for you and our children". That was just the excuse so I can justify the long travels I had all around Europe. Sometimes I was home only a few days in a month, but I told myself "yes but I made thousands of euros " I know now that it was foolish and ignorant from me. It was stupid to prioritize money over the time spent with my family. You can have billions of euros and there is one think you can not buy. TIME !!! You can not reverse time you can not change nothing in the past. That`s why I ask you to reevaluate your priorities. Do not fool yourself like I did and remember that your family is more precious than any wealth and the time spend with them is more important than any luxurious car or fancy holiday. Many people have the tendency to put their career in front of their family. Do not fool yourself because for your company you are only a number and the minute you do not create enough profit they will dump you without hesitation.They don`t care about you or your life/family and after many years when you will realise what you did, it will be too late and you can not change anything about it. But let`s get back to the story. So I made a lot of money and I drove an almost new BMW (which was my dream as well) and than suddenly I started to struggle with the company. Romania was extremely corrupt that time and I did not want to pay bribe to anyone, so I got into trouble with all kind of governmental bodies (because I did not pay my share to them) and I arrived to the point where I decided to sell everything and emigrate. I was so angry that I told everyone "I want to see this country again only when I can see the middle of my back" which never happens so you get the point. So we emigrated to Ireland and I started to work in a chip-shop. Imagine the feeling when I had to flip burgers after being production manager in a big furniture company and having my own company. I had to drive a 20 year old Opel Corsa after the new BMW.... Do you think it was easy??? No it wasn`t. But now we are here in Ireland since 12 years and I got a different job, but I never got a higher paid job and I am happy. I am really happy because I have much more time with my family and I know now what I did wrong. Even after 12 years in Ireland I drive a 12 years old car and I`m happy. Unfortunately I can not change the past but if you would ask me to change my life back the way it was, I would not. There is no wealth/money on this earth what could convince me to live the same life I did in the past. Sometimes we wonder why things happen in our life??? I was angry with God and with the world when I left Romania. I felt that it was not fair what happened to us, but now I know that it was a precious lesson from God. He wanted to show me that wealth is not as valuable as many people ( including myself back than) think it is. We all die at some stage and nobody can change that with all the money on this earth. You can have billions and you will still die the same like the poorest man. There is an old saying that " we all came to this earth the same we will leave...naked" So what`s the point than??? You might say yes but at least I can leave some wealth to my children. It is true but let`s not forget that statistics say that 85% of the severe arguments and cause of hatred between brothers and sisters is wealth legacy. In other words you work so hard, you ignore your family for many years, you give up the precious time you could spend with your loved ones so your children can hate each other after you die because they are not happy with your will??? This makes no sense is it not ???
So why do I share with you this??? Why I would like you to think about your priorities??? Because there is another old saying which says " The wise man will learn from others mistakes and the fool will learn from his own" I do not want you to be the fool I was and do the same mistakes I did. God wants you to care for your family more than anything else. More than money, more than friends, more than your career. For a long time I didn`t understand why these things happened in our life??? I was angry with God and I asked Him WHY DID YOU ALLOW THESE THINGS??? But now I understand and I would not change it for anything. I am a happy man with much less money than I had in the past, I am a fulfilled man who really appreciates what I have. A loving God who I can call Father, a beautiful wife who loves me and two beautiful children.
So I will finish here and I hope that you found it interesting and helpful.
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We wish we can inspire others with our personal experience and we do hope that some of you out there who have problems in your marriage will decide to fight for it and do not give up. So we will ask you to be so kind and share this post so others can see as well. We wish you all a blessed day and see you in the next one.
Attila and Julia .