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"Where there is selfishness there is no happiness"
First of all let me wish you a warm welcome and thank you for taking the time and read this blog post. I really hope that today you will find something interesting and inspiring in this post or in the other ones. I do want to encourage you to browse around and read our posts from different topics. If you like this post or the others please feel free to subscribe to our site, like/share this post so others can see as well. By doing it you will contribute so we can reach as many people as possible and hopefully help as much as we can. It is very important to share inspiring and helpful thoughts because you never know when is going to help someone out there. Maybe that person is about to make a life changing decision and a little bit of encouragement will help him/her to decide in a positive way.
But let`s see today`s topic which is "Looking at another woman/man with wrong intentions" OK this topic is important because every problem in a marriage will start with misunderstandings and selfishness. You might say that "why would I be selfish if I look at another woman/man with sexual desire? " Well my friend you are selfish because in that moment you do not think at your spouse and how much pain are you causing if she/he will see that you look at another woman/man. She/he will obviously think that she/he is not enough for you and you do not love her/him anymore. And in all fairness I have to agree with her/him because if you would love her/him, you would not have the need to look at other woman/man and feed you dirty fantasies. And let`s not forget that you commit a pretty serious sin as well because Jesus said himself that “You have heard that it was said, You shall not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." ( Matthew 5.27-28) Now we all know that adultery is a serious sin and I would not play around with it. And just so we understand how serious sin it is let`s see what has Jesus to say in the continuation of this chapter about it. " If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." (Matthew 5. 29-30)
Now it is obvious in these verses that it is not a great idea to fool around and play with fire. There is an old Hungarian saying that "whoever pays with fire will burn himself"
And believe me when I say that you will burn yourself eventually if you don`t stop playing with fire. The one lesson I have learned throughout my christian life is that I am not strong enough to play around with sin. Better to avoid even the possibility of getting into a sensitive situation where you might end up sinning, than fall into the trap and you do not know how to get out of it. Because usually one sin will bring automatically the other one and the other one and the other one.
So let`say that you are walking on the street with your spouse, and a young good locking woman will pass by and you take your time to look at her. Your wife will notice and she will ask you why did you do that? The most common answer will be " I can not do anything if she is walking in front of me "....or the other favorite of mine is " What can I do if she is in my eyesight?" But let`s not give too much attention to these BS excuses (although we all know that they are pure lies) and focus on what is going to happen when she will not accept these excuses. Than you will say..."oh I wasn`t even looking"
and then she says "then why did you look in that direction?" and you have to say something to cover yourself so you will improvise " I just saw that nice bike over there".
So there is a lie which will bring another lie to cover the firs lie and so on and so on.... You get the point. Do not forget that a sin will always bring other sins and eventually when you realise how deep you went in the traps of lies and adultery, most of the time the damage is done and your irresponsibility will bring suffering to your spouse and most importantly to your children. You should not play with fire because you are going to burn yourself eventually.
Do you realise how many times I heard this from man... " I can look no problem because I will not do anything bad by looking".... Stupidest lie what you can say to calm yourself and don`t feel guilty. Even a six year old child will know that if you stare a lot on a chocolate cake(when your parents told you that you can`t have it just after dinner) the possibility that you will take it it is 10 time bigger. Every sin starts with thoughts. First you think on it, than you start asking yourself "why should I not talk to her/him?" Than you will say "that`s not a sin yet to speak with her/him and have a coffee " and so on, so on you get the point. The most important fact what you can do (if you want a happy and fulfilled marriage) is to avoid these situations, by not letting yourself to fall in the traps of sin. There is another saying from a very clever man. " You can not stop a bird to fly over your head, but you can definitely stop it to build a nest on your head"
I had my own problems and arguments with my wife about this topic because I used to be the same as many other man around the world. I thought that if I look that`s fine. Until I realised that I am absolutely wrong. I started to think how would I feel if I would see that my wife is staring at another man and I was absolutely sure that it would not feel great. So I started to think and change my habits on this principle. " if you are about to do something( which would affect your spouse as well) and you are not sure, imagine if she/he would do the same to you how would you feel ??? " Obviously if you are a christian, you have all the principles in the Bible and you have to follow those principles.
And many times I see Christians trying to find excuses in the Bible to cover their selfish carnal desire and that is disgraceful.
Now this post is kind of more relevant to man because man are more visual than woman, but in the same time it can happen to a woman as well. But there is another topic which is related to this topic and in all fairness woman make this way harder to man than it should be. Why do they make it harder??? Because the way they dress and behave it does make a big difference. And if you are a christian woman you should consider twice how you dress and behave with man because some things might not look or feel bad to you but that can be definitely a big temptation a man . Man and woman are completely different and they act/react different to certain situations. I have a blog post about this topic and if you want you can read it here.
Think about this " If your dress is a frame to your face so the glory of God can shine from you than it is right, but if your dress is a frame for your body to draw attention to it than it is absolutely wrong"
So I will finish here and I hope that you found it interesting and helpful.If you want to see more of our posts like this, you can subscribe to our site, or like/share this post so others can see as well, or if you want to contact us, do so and let us know your ideas or concerns. I will try to answer as soon as I can.
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We wish we can inspire others with our personal experience and we do hope that some of you out there who have problems in your marriage will decide to fight for it and do not give up. So we will ask you to be so kind and share this post so others can see as well. We wish you all a blessed day and see you in the next one. Attila and Julia .