Updated: Nov 22, 2020
Should there be any difference in our dressing habit as a wife or not???
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"Where there is selfishness there is no happiness"
This blog post will target mostly women (and before someone asks the question why, I will answer it) because they put more accent on body appearance than man most of the time. I say most of the time because some man can do as well but most man will not be interested as much in it. I am most certainly sure that there will be some people out there who will not agree with me and will say "I`m not like that" or "that is not true" and that is fine but in majority of the cases these things I`m going to say are actual facts.
You might ask yourself why would that be important in regards my married life? Why would it make any difference? But I have to tell you that it can make a hell of a lot of difference because it can create jealousy and miss-understanding. Than those can create arguments and so on, so on when you wake up you are on crazy cycle already and you don`t even realize what happened.
So there is the million dollar question and what is the correct answer to it??? How should a wife dress and what makes the difference??? Let me clarify at the beginning that the mentality of the person is critically important. Is the person a christian or a secular? If there are problems in your marriage already, the question is do you care enough so you can sacrifice some of your habits? Or if you do not have any problems in your marriage you should still consider these things to avoid any future problems.
In order to understand what could create a problem in your marriage, you have to understand how man will think . So first let`s see how a secular man will think and react in a certain situation.
As I already mentioned a few times in my posts man are visual type and women are emotional/romantic type. The example if a man will see a woman in a short tight dress with a large neckline walking along, that will awake his interest and most likely he will think about sex. You dress up in something sensual = you got his interest !!! That`s a fact and unfortunately some women will use this to attract men, or to just build their confidence (because man will stare at her or wisle and she will feel better). They think that this way they will get the man`s attention. And they will, but the wrong way. And just clarify why the wrong way I will have to tell you this. Man will kind of categorize women in two categories. ( I do emphasize again that there are exceptions but majority of the cases are like this) Category 1 = Fun material and Category 2 = Wife material. Now this sounds bad and you might feel insulted but that is the reality. You can see yourself if you want to see (or maybe you already experienced ) that if you dress very sensual and act sensual most man will be happy to spend time/have fun with you and even go to bed with you but when it comes to long term commitment and marriage.......they will back up and will try to find a woman who does not act like that. You might ask why? Because they do not like the idea that their wife will behave like that. They do not like the idea that their wife will dress like that. They do not want to see that other man will stare at you and try to seduce you. They do not want that head ache. You might think that is not fair but that`s the way it is. I always told my daughter that a woman must be a bit mysterious and not easily available for sex. When i started to date my wife she didn`t let me to hold her hand for 3 months. For 3 months ...(unfortunately in today`s world it is kind of normal to have sex on the first or second date but that`s why the marriages fall apart) but after three months when I held her hands it was an unbelievable feeling. I appreciated that feeling because I worked for it. Look at this from other perspective. If you get a brand new phone as a present from somebody or you have to work hard to buy that phone .... which one will you appreciate more?
Do not forget .....Easily gotten = Easily forgotten!!!
I had a conversation with a man not too long ago about today`s woman and he said he better stay alone than get married. He said I can get woman for a night any time but I do not want to commit myself with someone like that. So.... although it sounds a bit offensive I hope you will get the point. There is a reason why the Bible teaches that sex is for marriage and not before.
Now let`s see how a christian man would react in these kind of situation.Again if a woman will walk by in a short tight dress with a large neckline and he sees her, he will try everything not to look again on her. Why??? Because he is a visual type and he knows very well that if he stares at you, his mind starts working on "how could I get her???" And that is a sin. He does know very well that he is commended by God to love and cherish his wife so he can not look on other women with sexual intentions. But it is hard for him because by nature man are visual . That is one of the main reason why every woman who goes to church should consider really hard how do they dress for the church. You never know what kind of struggles you create for some of your brothers with your irresponsible way of dressing. You might say " I have the right to dress how ever I want and he should not look if it bothers him" But you have to know that it is a responsibility for a christian woman to dress sensibly. It is a responsibility and you will be held accountable if you create spiritual struggles to your brothers.
But than you can ask..."what if I`m not a christian woman and I`m married so how will my dressing habit affect my marriage??? It will affect because if you dress sensual you will attract men`s attention and by doing that there is a possibility that some of the man will approach you and try to talk/seduce you. Would your husband be happy if he knows that??? No he won`t!!! And he does know that this will happen so that`s why he doesn`t like you to dress that way. And if you still do, arguments starts and than jealousy and so on. But on the other hand if he does not mind or else does not bother him ....... well there is a problem there because that means that he does not care about you as much. There must be an interest in this regard otherwise it`s a red flag.
This is the reason why men try to avoid having a long term commitment/marriage with a woman who has sensual dressing habits. Because they try to avoid this problem later on. And believe me there are problems almost all the time, so if you care about your marriage and you do not want to create some uncomfortable arguments with your husband try to consider this and talk to him about this. Ask him how does he feel about this and if it bothers him? Communication is a very important factor in marriage and if you are willing to sacrifice and talk to your spouse it will be different. You will save yourself a lot of trouble and hassle.
I said at the beginning that we will talk about women mostly because men are rarely over-interested about the dressing habits. Some man will try to show their big muscle in a tight t-shirt and obviously there are some exceptions, but generally we/ men do not really care about this.
But again as I mentioned before women are emotional/romantic type and not visual as men are. So if they see a muscly handsome man they don`t necessarily think about sex straight away, because they are created different. She needs to talk to feel affection and love. She needs to know that she is appreciated for who she is and not only because of her body. And unfortunately some man will know this and they will use it to fool women and draw them into the bed. But you(women) should know better and do not go.
Do not forget .....Easily gotten = Easily forgotten!!!
You should have more self appreciation and do not get fooled. Unfortunately many man will not care even if they know that a woman is married, if they see an opportunity or you as a woman send out the wrong signals they will try. That`s why you have to be careful about your dressing habit and how do you act as a married woman. I am most certainly sure that you do not want to make a big mistake and be an easy prize. So think about this and start acting according to that. God created the institute of marriage to be a safe and happy haven for man and woman, so you should appreciate and cherish your marriage and your spouse.
Someone said this to a woman when she asked how should she dress and I do think that it is very vise.
" If your dress is a frame to your face so the glory of God can shine from you than it is right, but if your dress is a frame for your body to draw attention to it than it is absolutely wrong"
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We wish we can inspire others with our personal experience and we do hope that some of you out there who have problems in your marriage will decide to fight for it and do not give up. So we will ask you to be so kind and share this post so others can see as well. We wish you all a blessed day and see you in the next one. Attila and Julia .